Script draft 2

Scene 1

Ext: Graveyard. Daytime

SARAH and MAX stand at the grave, whilst MAX remains emotionless; SARAH wipes a single tear away from her 

left cheek. MAX goes to show his mother some support by touching her arm however she makes no reaction and 

slowly walks off leaving MAX alone staring into the abyss that his father’s grave. SARAH clearly walks away, in 

silence, showing the audience the disconnection between SARAH and her son. MAX then looks down at his feet, 

turns and walks after his mother, the space between them remains showing that due to the father’s death it is 

clear the relationship is beginning to perish between these two characters.

Scene 2

NEXT DAY.

Int: Stairs/Kitchen/Living Room/Family Home.

SARAH, alone strolls down the stairs lazily while carrying a large cardboard box. Griping it tight too show the 



audience that her emotions to what ever the box contain is strong. While MAX is sat alone in the kitchen, tired 



from the day and school, is sat doing homework, struggling however is not receiving any help from mother, 



SARAH. SARAH then almost slam down the box onto the kitchen table, and then throws nearby shirts into the 



black bag that was thrown on the table she stands by. As SARAH enters the room we see a shot of the back of 




max's head, SARAH then goes about her business and the camera pans to see MAX'S face struggling with his 




homework. We will show this through several shots to show MAX'S struggle such as close up of his mouth biting 




his lip in frustration, him stippling on the page and n attempt to catch his mother's attention for guidance. SARAH 




then begins to throw shirts in bag, steps back as if 


her emotions have finally caught up with her, her son MAX looks at his mother, she then turns around and grabs 


her glass of wine, bringing it close to her face with both hands, almost as if she is know relying on drink to be her 


support. MAX reaches into the box to find his dad’s shirts, he pulls one out, then another, all oblivious to his 


mother. He looks towards his mother, a shadow of her former self. He grips his dad’s shirts tightly and walks past 


his mother, as if she were a stranger. We then see a shot, a point of view, to show SARAH'S view of her son 




walking up the stairs. SARAH still drinking turns round to see her sons exit. SARAH Looks into a 


near by mirror and her own reflections, looks down and the camera slowly fades to black.

Scene 3

FADES TO BLACK.

NEXT DAY.

Int. Living Room.

SARAH, stands alone, hovering, in a frustrated manner, she finishes. Looking down she finds a pair of her son’s 

shoes. She grabs them, looks at them, and turns and travels upstairs, to her son’s room and throws the shows 


onto the bed. Out of the corner of her eye she sees a small box. She then sits down onto her son’s bed, Opening 


the box she finds a diary resting onto of items belonging to her late husband. The pulls out shirts she was sure 


she got rid of and a photo of her son, MAX and her husband laughing. She rests the shirts onto her lap and reads 


the diary. The diary is read in the son’s voice. She then lays back and sniffs the father’s shirt. 




The shot of the dairy will at first be the mother reading the words, with an over the shoulder shot. The camera will 




then begin to fade to the boy talking to the camera, standing in a pure white room wearing pure white clothes.

            

 Max (Voice Over): I don't usually do this. I miss you so much and i know mum does too. She just shows 

it differently. The other day i told her one of those jokes from that joke book you got me and she just stared, she 

didn't even crese the corners of her lips. I know i shouldn't say this, but when you left us mum went with you. I feel 

so alone Dad. Anyway going to be late for school if i write anymore. Talk to you soon. Bye dad.

FADES TO BLACK.

While it fades to black we hear the boys voice over say “By the way it’s my birthday tomorrow, I doubt mum will 

make a fuss”.

Scene 4

Int. Party Room.

SARAH stands in front of chair with a rope in her hand in a dark room.

(MUSIC BEGINS TO PLAY - A SLOW AND DISTORTED VERSION OF 'HAPPY BIRTHDAY' PLAYS.)

of the chair she stands on. MAX then walks through the door  and looks up, we see SARAH'S leg again lowering, 




MAX has an expression as if her had just seen a ghost. 

However, Max smiles, the camera pans to see SARAH is fine, and the room to be filled with decorations for 

MAX'S birthday,  SARAH smiles at her son, they come together and stand in the same position they did at the 

grave in the opening scene however with contrasting expressions to how they felt in the begging of the piece. All 

shots within this scene must be very clear and cut, we must take time when editing and shooting to portray these 

emotions in the clearest possible way.

SARAH slowly steps on a wooden, old chair, the movement is slow, to reflect the music in the background. 

SARAH pulls the rope through her hand. We will see shots on SARAH'S face from an angle, almost as if we are 

not trying to reveal her identity to the audience, we will see close up of her shoes and how she stands. Her skinny 

frame resembles a deer as she stands high, SARAH looks nervous, she then slowly lifts her foot and lowers it off 

Treatment draft 2

Sarah's husband passes away after months of being terminally ill and her relationship between her and her son slowly deteriorates. Sarah begins to drink heavily and arguments between her and her son get more and more heated as he cannot accept the way his mother is dealing with the Dads death. Sarah continues to be unaware of her son's emotions until she comes across a diary that he is writing to his father begging for answers regarding how to deal with his mother. it is only at the end that she realises her ways must change as her son is loosing his mother.

Our story starts off with Sarah and her son looking down at the fathers grave. Whilst the son is extremely upset the mother remains emotionless and walks away, it is here that we see the disconnection between her and her son and it is here that the audience start to question why Sarah is acting this way. At home we see how there relationship slowly deteriorates where in one scene we see how Sarah begins to throw out the late Father's belongings and is unaware that when her back is turned her son is taking them as he doesn't want to erase his fathers memories out of his life and keeps his belongings as a sense of memorabillia. The mum turns to drink and spirals into depression and consequently both her and her son have a heated conversation of what she is turning into.

While the son is out of the house the mum decides to start cleaning to clear her mind of everything going on in her life. She starts off with washing up dishes then the living room, making sure everything is clean and tidy she stumbles across a pair of her son's shoes which she goes and returns in his room. It is in his room that she finds her late and husbands belongings and becomes shocked and reminded of his life by pictures, clothing etc... underneath her sons pillow she also find a diary with entries titled 'Dear Dad'. She opens up the book to the first page where she reads her son's words to his dad, begging for answers and way to get his mum back as he explains he has lost her and feels that he is grieving alone. He also mentions that it's his birthday tommorow and that hes not expecting any fuss from his mum because she doesn't care.

At this point we expect to see Sarah actually realising the effect of her actions, but we don't instead we see her walking downstairs with rope in her hand and at this point we instantly think suicide whilst on the edge of our seats. We then see her climb onto a chair and reaching up to tie the rope onto something and her son enters the room with a shocked facial expression. The audience then realises it was not Sarah attempting suicide but putting up decoration for his birthday party due to her realisation that her son was loosing his mother and they weren't coming togther and grieving together.

Original script

This is the first draft of the script we made for our actos/actresses

Scene 1

Ext: Graveyard. Daytime

Sarah and Max stand at the grave, whilst Max remains emotionless; Sarah wipes a single tear away from her left cheek. Max goes to show his mother some support by touching her arm however she makes no reaction and slowly walks off leaving Max alone staring into the abyss that his father’s grave. Sarah clearly walks away, in silence, showing the audience the disconnection between Sarah and her son. Max then looks down at his feet, turns and walks after his mother, the space between them remains showing that due to the father’s death it is clear the relationship is beginning to perish between these two characters.

Scene 2

NEXT DAY.

Int: Stairs/Kitchen/Living Room/Family Home.

Sarah, alone strolls down the stairs lazily while carrying a large cardboard box. Griping it tight too show the audience that her emotions to what ever the box contain is strong. While Max is sat alone in the kitchen, tired from the day and school, is sat doing homework, struggling however is not receiving any help from mother, Sarah. Sarah then almost slam down the box onto the kitchen table, and then throws nearby shirts into the black bag that was thrown on the table she stands by. Mum then begins to throw shirts in bag, steps back as if her emotions have finally caught up with her, her son Max looks at his mother, she then turns around and grabs her glass of wine, bringing it close to her face with both hands, almost as if she is know relying on drink to be her support. Max reaches into the box to find his dad’s shirts, he pulls one out, then another, all oblivious to his mother. He looks towards his mother, a shadow of her former self. He grips his dad’s shirts tightly and walks past his mother, as if she were a stranger. Sarah still drinking turns round to see her sons exit. Sarah Looks into a near by mirror and her own reflections, looks down and the camera slowly fades to black.

Scene 3

FADES TO BLACK.

NEXT DAY.

Int. Living Room.

Sarah, stands alone, hovering, in a frustrated manner, she finishes. Looking down she finds a pair of her son’s shoes. She grabs them, looks at them, and turns and travels upstairs, to her son’s room and throws the shows onto the bed. Out of the corner of her eye she sees a small box. She then sits down onto her son’s bed, Opening the box she finds a diary resting onto of items belonging to her late husband. The pulls out shirts she was sure she got rid of and a photo of her son, Max and her husband laughing. She rests the shirts onto her lap and reads the diary. The diary is read in the son’s voice. She then lays back and sniffs the father’s shirt.

             Max (Voice Over): I don't usually do this. I miss you so much and i know mum does too    She just shows it differently. The other day i told her one of those jokes from that joke book you got me and she just stared, she didn't even crese the corners of her lips. I know i shouldn't say this, but when you left us mum went with you. I feel so alone Dad. Anyway going to be late for school if i write anymore. Talk to you soon.

FADES TO BLACK.

While it fades to black we hear the boys voice over say “By the way it’s my birthday tomorrow, I doubt mum will make a fuss”.

Scene 4

Sarah stands in front of chair with a rope in her hand in a fairly dark room.

(creepy, slow and distorted happy birthday piano music starts)

Sarah slowly steps on chair (stepping on chair sound is load), while Max is entering the house. Max looks up at mum shocked to see her putting up birthday decorations. Mum smiles at son. 

Script draft 1

Scene 1

Ext: Graveyard. Daytime

SARAH and MAX stand at the grave, whilst MAX remains emotionless; SARAH wipes a single tear away from her 

left cheek. MAX goes to show his mother some support by touching her arm however she makes no reaction and 

slowly walks off leaving MAX alone staring into the abyss that his father’s grave. SARAH clearly walks away, in 

silence, showing the audience the disconnection between SARAH and her son. MAX then looks down at his feet, 

turns and walks after his mother, the space between them remains showing that due to the father’s death it is 

clear the relationship is beginning to perish between these two characters.

Scene 2

NEXT DAY.

Int: Stairs/Kitchen/Living Room/Family Home.

SARAH, alone strolls down the stairs lazily while carrying a large cardboard box. Griping it tight too show the 


audience that her emotions to what ever the box contain is strong. While MAX is sat alone in the kitchen, tired 


from the day and school, is sat doing homework, struggling however is not receiving any help from mother, 


SARAH. SARAH then almost slam down the box onto the kitchen table, and then throws nearby shirts into the 


black bag that was thrown on the table she stands by. SARAH then begins to throw shirts in bag, steps back as if 


her emotions have finally caught up with her, her son MAX looks at his mother, she then turns around and grabs 


her glass of wine, bringing it close to her face with both hands, almost as if she is know relying on drink to be her 


support. MAX reaches into the box to find his dad’s shirts, he pulls one out, then another, all oblivious to his 


mother. He looks towards his mother, a shadow of her former self. He grips his dad’s shirts tightly and walks past 


his mother, as if she were a stranger. SARAH still drinking turns round to see her sons exit. SARAH Looks into a 


near by mirror and her own reflections, looks down and the camera slowly fades to black.

Scene 3

FADES TO BLACK.

NEXT DAY.

Int. Living Room.

SARAH, stands alone, hovering, in a frustrated manner, she finishes. Looking down she finds a pair of her son’s 

shoes. She grabs them, looks at them, and turns and travels upstairs, to her son’s room and throws the shows 


onto the bed. Out of the corner of her eye she sees a small box. She then sits down onto her son’s bed, Opening 


the box she finds a diary resting onto of items belonging to her late husband. The pulls out shirts she was sure 


she got rid of and a photo of her son, MAX and her husband laughing. She rests the shirts onto her lap and reads 


the diary. The diary is read in the son’s voice. She then lays back and sniffs the father’s shirt.

             Max (Voice Over): I don't usually do this. I miss you so much and i know mum does too. She just shows 

it differently. The other day i told her one of those jokes from that joke book you got me and she just stared, she 

didn't even crese the corners of her lips. I know i shouldn't say this, but when you left us mum went with you. I feel 

so alone Dad. Anyway going to be late for school if i write anymore. Talk to you soon. Bye dad.

FADES TO BLACK.

While it fades to black we hear the boys voice over say “By the way it’s my birthday tomorrow, I doubt mum will 

make a fuss”.

Scene 4

Int. Party Room.

SARAH stands in front of chair with a rope in her hand in a dark room.

(MUSIC BEGINS TO PLAY - A SLOW AND DISTORTED VERSION OF 'HAPPY BIRTHDAY' PLAYS.)

SARAH slowly steps on a wooden, old chair, the movement is slow, to reflect the music in the background. 

SARAH pulls the rope through her hand. We will see shots on SARAH'S face from an angle, almost as if we are 

not trying to reveal her identity to the audience, we will see close up of her shoes and how she stands. Her skinny 

frame resembles a deer as she stands high, SARAH looks nervous, she then slowly lifts her foot and lowers it off 

of the chair. (AT THIS POINT THE AUDIENCE WILL EXPECT SARAH TO BE COMMITTING SUICIDE DUE TO 

THE PREVIOUS EVENTS THAT HAVE TAKEN PLACE WITHIN THE PIECE). MAX then walks through the door 

and looks up, we see SARAH'S leg again lowering, MAX has an expression as if her had just seen a ghost. 

However, Max smiles, the camera pans to see SARAH is fine, and the room to be filled with decorations for 

MAX'S birthday,  SARAH smiles at her son, they come together and stand in the same position they did at the 

grave in the opening scene however with contrasting expressions to how they felt in the begging of the piece.